a copy of a copy

sometimes when i'm out running
i find myself drifting off in thought
the mind moving ten times faster
even on a good day

naturally there are some days when i'm just looking
for some exercise
trying to get through it and go home to a delicious
frozen dinner
but i wonder what happened to all the perfect moments
where the right song hits
loud
with a burst of energy
powering downhill

the sort of thing that makes you feel unmistakably alive

as opposed to the normal state

where i'm so scattered
so attention-deficient
that things that should register clearly
indelibly
are dulled
background processes

it's not to say that this is a universal thing
goodness knows that there remain a few things that
seize undivided attention

but i feel like there should be more

i feel like my eyes should be wide open
while the sun rises over the back bay on my way into work
or when i'm pedaling in a good groove
or while leaves rattle down the sidewalk on my street

maybe i should cut back on the caffeine
maybe i should take some focusyn
maybe i should turn the volume up
maybe i ought to take a deep breath every now and then
maybe i need to drink more
maybe i need to get my ass on a plane and go find something
that will make an impression

yeah
let's do some of that