i know what you are

i can smell you a mile away

when your team goes down
3-nil in the first five minutes
i can see it in your eyes

you're better than they are
and you know it
they know it too
the difference is they don't care
and that's not why they're there

you're pele
maradona
and kaka all in one

you're singlehandedly going to
haul your side level
and you'll use every
dive shove and elbow to do it

trouble is
even if you probably are
better than i

let's all hope so
for your sake

i'm going to beat you
because you're dumb

i may be erratic as hell
but i have help

you've ignored your help
and i will eat you and your mistake

and after i have put a stop to you
yet again
one way or another
i'm going to run right into you as i go upfield
and savor it

because tonight i'm an asshole too