perspective, number 384

after spending a nice couple days
comfortably warmed by family
to say nothing of good food and good beer
today found me back to the office for reasons that are
either worrying or merely annoying

after a productive day
i returned to my cold
dark apartment
changed and went outside for a run
penance for all the junkfood
opportunity to clear my head

over the hill into my old neighborhood in upper falls
took a right turn to buy myself an extra climb
i've been a good boy

back downhill i saw a lump in a wheelchair
wallowing in an intersection

this isn't an unusual thing in this neighborhood
for whatever reason the hilly streets always drew a disproportionate
share of shambling souls on wheels

this one gesticulated at me as i ran by
i heard nothing
with mgmt keeping my run jaunty

i ran a few more feet and he was still waving
reluctantly i took off my earbuds
walked over

he couldn't speak many words audibly
eventually it became clear that he wanted a push
having failed to wheel himself back uphill
who the hell knows how he got down there
coughing wheezing
bundled up and slumped
piss bottle thankfully empty

eventually i told him to point where he wanted to go
it's cold enough out
i couldn't leave him in the middle of the street
not even in newton

turns out he needed to go a quarter mile back uphill

after depositing him at a reasonably decent apartment
i plunged my hands in the snow
suddenly feeling like i'd touched something

like i'd gone and done something to threaten the warm beating engine
that drove me up the hill in the first place
that there but for some unknowable combination of genetics and luck
went i

i ran like hell back down the hill again
just to emphasize the difference between me and him
pulled hamstrings and leftover cold forgotten
for the moment

bought a gatorade and didn't drink it
went home
purell'd the hell out of my hands
[no germaphobe i]

i couldn't very well leave him there
that just ain't me

but even if it's not so scary now
why did it worry me so then