forfeit

do i really
still have the right
to complain

about putting my personal life
in stasis
to try and coax life into
some misbegotten creation
that consumes my
time
sweat
and blood

when i do it voluntarily

over and over again

not really

but i'll do it anyway

i'd like to think that someday
i'll have a life that causes me to reprioritize
and certainly there are plenty of friday nights where i have

they just seem so few
and so far between
and so long ago

so fucking tired