for kids of all ages

i bought a gamecube a few years ago for mario kart:double dash alone
it met my expectations
but only just
the depth of the gameplay just didn't measure up to the n64 version that hooked me
in the first place
the majority of the levels lacked the demented imagination of the prior version
and there were fewer shortcuts
wrong turns
and surprises

so even if we were to be measuring it by that alone
mario kart wii exceeds that mark by a significant margin
the courses are by turns vertiginous
dastardly
strange
and fraught with opportunities for your enemies
to fuck you up

the number of times i cuss out yoshi alone
should be enough to explain how much better it is

but the true sign of how awesome it is is that it's got me
sitting indian-style on the floor
three feet from the giant television
holding the steering wheel at arm's length
like maggie's toy at the beginning of the simpsons
twisting and leaning this way and that
and getting my ass kicked by eight-year-olds worldwide