unlike me, number 15

i gave up fifteen goals in net tonight. that’s not what the title’s referring to, i’m eminently capable of doing that at any time. at some point they were up by ten goals and we pulled one back. on the kickoff, they decided to haul off and take a shot. my center back ducked, and a ball appeared where his head was, and promptly bounced in the net off my outstretched palm which was useless for most of the night (the fact that i re-busted my thumb warming up mattered little, since i so rarely made that much useful contact with the ball). any number of 2-on-1 and 3-on-1s ended with them frolicking with the ball in front of the net while i flail at one of them as they slot it home or dump it to their open buddy. i sucked, was tested all too frequently, and was found thoroughly wanting, but even with an even dozen, they’re still fucking around seeking further humiliation. so like i said, that’s quite in character. i was well aware of my limitations, even before they were so kind as to remind me.

no, what was out of character was that after the game, i declined to shake the opposing team’s hands, ranting instead that i had no interest in their empty gesture of respect after their lavish efforts at making me look like a fool. i barked at them and pointed, and told them not to waste my time, and walked right past.

ooh, what a rebel i am. okay, not really. but i was pissed and took it out on the offending party. without swearing, but still. perhaps i should use this as some kind of life lesson.