somebody should iron you

let us again look to the simpsons to inform our discussion tonight. this time, from the book of episode AABF07. the prophet ralphie, quoted above, spoke of the elders of springfield, who sought to impose their will on a younger populace, which, through their own indolence, had disenfranchised themselves. d'oh.

which brings us to an article in today's boston globe, about how teenage drivers may lose their phones. now, those of you who know me will express some surprise to my opposition of this, given how much i despise the way some people cannot spend a minute in their car not on the phone, and as a result, nearly hit me, or run me over, or whatever. i don't own a cellular phone, and don't intend to.

but that said, i strongly object to this proposed law; why? it's yet another example of adults treating young adults as if they are lesser people, legally speaking. there are plenty of mature 16-year-olds with cars, and i'm sure we can all name a good handful of instances in the past day, week, or month, of a full-grown adult being terribly irresponsible while yakking with their pals in addition to driving. so why the double standard? why do adults get fines only, and teenagers get their license revoked altogether for a year? why is it okay to make laws like that when those that are disproportionately affected do not even have representation with which to fight it.

governance without representation was once something we did not tolerate, and now this is the example we set for people we hope will grow into productive members of society. instead of telling them that it's a responsibility whose abuse they will answer for just like any adult, we tell them that they are less trusted than adults, that adults just know better. that's wrong, that's not good at all, and it's just fucking hypocritical. so screw this horseshit, let's have the punishment fit everybody's crime. a year's revocation after two or three offenses, maybe, for everyone, i'd be in favor of that.

but for all the people who keep harumphing about kids these days, the way these kids learn is not going to be by treating them like half-persons until the magical thresholds of 16, 18, and 21 all pass. i'm personally in favor of lowering the voting age to 16, and the drinking age to 18, because the way things are set up, young people are getting special punishments with no special privileges, because the representation of people in american politics is directly proportional to their distance from the age of 18. and that's bullshit.

even ralphie would know that.